i should have been a farmer

or something...

i want chicks

and pot belly pigs 

and a dog

and maybe some sheep

and a cow.

and overalls 

and kittens.

forever.

confession

when life is busy

and the days are full,

when i don't get enough sleep

and gary and i are like ships passing in the night,

when life starts looking like one long list with boxes to check off,

when i neglect to read my bible,

and put aside the habits that keep my heart soft,

i get weird.

and restless.

i start to think about 

tattoos,

number 11,

roads trips and red wine,

gypsy dancing.

 and i get very in the mood for mumford and sons.

...

and although i am confidant all of the above

are really wonderful things (especially gypsy dancing),

i know

today 

my impulses are evidence

of my weary, wandering heart.  

so i breathe deep 

and offer up the following verse from

my favorite hymn:

o to grace how great a debtor
daily i’m constrained to be!
let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
prone to wander, lord, i feel it,
prone to leave the god i love;
here’s my heart, o take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

then i find the hymn on u tube.

and wouldn't you believe, 

there's even a cover by mumford and sons. 

god is good.

no joke

gary's #41 birthday kinda made him want to puke.

or maybe it was a virus

or that cheeseburger he had at lunch.

anyway,

baby,

i'm sorry it wasn't a better day.

and i'm sorry i am so humored by your ailments

(i feel really bad about all the eye rolling.)  

i love you so much, man flu n'all.

and don't worry, you definitely get better (and hotter) with age.  

it's not even 9:00 am

the kids are at the table doing some early morning crafting, 

while i pay some bills 

and try to put as much coffee in my body as possible. 

i hear the kids talking to themselves.

it's cute.

bo says something like "yep, that's good like new."

i put down my coffee, smile and think to myself, "i gotta see this."

i turn to see the situation pictured below. 

...

apparently it is a batman thing cause all he said was

"mom, this is what batman neeeeeds."

of course it is.

...

but then

jane came over and said, "oh bodhi, dat soooo handsome."

now, i could be wrong,

 but i'm pretty sure my 2 year just did a really funny pun.

my fame and fortune

what these children lack in

clothing that fit

and stylish hairdo's,

they make up for in a 

million 

other ways

(see below).

i am nothing but proud over here.

super proud.

charlee

aka "could be a character in one of my favorite sitcoms."

bodhi

aka "future baller"

aka "cool dude."

jane

aka "womb raider."

brenden

my kids adore their cousin, 

brenden.

i don't blame 'em one bit.

he is lovely.  

when he spends time with our family,

 he is not distracted by texting or facebooking his friends

he gives us his pure attention.  

also.

he's the one who will: 

play in forts.

ride the christmas train.

read stories in awesome voices.

play video games with added sound effects.

play 'easter hunt' even though it's not easter and he can't eat chocolate.

...

brenden has had to grow up a lot (for reals) lately.

he has spent the better part of the last five months in children's hospital, 

hooked up to all kinds of tortures,

and on bowel rest.

that means no burgers, no pizza, no chips, no pop, and no anything, 

except for strawberry ensure.  

this last visit, i was completely inspired by his attitude.  

he did not complain once.  his attitude was one of willingness to do whatever he needed to.  

he gave lots of hugs and kisses, he smiled, he visited and he gave the kids so much of his time. 

he seemed to be peaceful and even joyful despite of his "strawberry-ensure" situation. 

we love you, buddy.

one of these kids prays for you just about everyday!  

keep trusting jesus. 

love'n

yesterday afternoon my kids and i were love'n:

this zane boy. 

his new astronaut suit.

bunny hops & scooters

the sun. 

freak rain/ hail showers.

more love'n:

grab a tissue and watch this.

also, you might want to check out this. it's really cool.

and then there is the following.

a friend recently sent me this in an email

cause i'm not a tweeter.

it kinda made me wish i was.    

happy weekend.  

when we sleep

our kids have never been great sleepers.

don't get me wrong,

they go to bed amazingly.

and they usually give us three to four good hours.

but it seems as if every night we have a one-to-three-kid-combo deal of 

one or more of the following:

kid in our bed.

kid with bad dream.

kid has to go potty.

kid pees bed.

kid sleep talks.

kid wakes up hungry.

kid can't breath or stop coughing 

or kid pukes.

and if one of these things doesn't happen, then either gary or i 

will develop a freak case of insomnia.   

it's weird.

all that to say,

it is rare that all five of us sleep all the way through.

these photos were taken after one such glorious night.

i must admit the world was beautiful and shiny.

 it helped that the day before all the floors were vacuumed and washed.  

and the sheets were clean.

and there was snow on the ground.  

i couldn't help pulling out my camera.  

and i can't help loving these photos.

i'm sure it was all that sleep (times five).

why my kids think i'm really cool today

little big planet is all the rage around here (with bo, mostly).

i think it's a pretty cute game and the music is sweet and fun.

there is the occasional "farting" character, which i find ridiculous and hilarious.

we do have pretty strict guidelines for when the game can be enjoyed:

1) daddy must be home (mostly because i am useless at helping them)

 &

2) you must have slept in your own bed the whole night before.

so...

on days like today, bo they just have to be ok with

"little big plan-cakes."

anyone else see the resemblance?

lately

i've been thinking about this guy.

and how lucky i am to have him.

we are going on 10 years.  

10.

years.

of marriage.

and after 10 whole years, i can still say,

he is my favorite.

he is wonderful man.

and the best father.

example:  

we have been trying to do date nights with the kids, you know intentional one on one's.

the thing is when it's my turn to take the kids out, they find it especially
difficult to leave dad at home.  

bo gave up a date night with me at castle fun park
to sit in this man's lap and watch the game.  i don't blame him.  smile.  

this is what our 10 looks like:  

3 kids.

lots and lots of coffee.

date nights to the pool (another post all-together).

going to church together. 

growing together.

dreaming together.

eating chips in our bed.

sleeping in the kid's bed.

weekends cleaning out the shop.

or at the zoo.

lot's of "thank you."

lots of "i'm sorry."

crappy vehicles.

good food.

incredible friendships.

tons of laughter & the best humour.

(the kind of stuff you can't make up).

example:

the other night, we are in bed.

he is watching episodes of arrested development.  

i am cursing at working on a pot holder.  

i thought i bought the kit for charlee.

no such luck.

gary looks over his glasses at me with one of those sideways snickers. 

i get defensive, of course,

"what are you looking at me like that for?"

then,

slowly,

 i start to see the funny,

"are you like super attracted to me 

right now?"

he replies,

"well,

 between the granny pannies*

and the granny crafts,

do i have a much of a choice?"

we die laughing 

and fall just a little more in love.  

laughter is the glue my friends.  

*sometimes my mom buys unders for herself that don't actually work for her.  

she will pass them along to me and i usually take them, because they are,
well, 

free.

gary calls them my "granny pannies."

because my mom is a granny, literally.  

as in, she has grandchildren.

laughter

is 

our glue.

here's to another 10.